Why women after 50 are more likely to get divorced and choose loneliness - a real story

Recently, even years, I would say, I have noticed such a strange tendency: married couples over the age of 45, and more often even after 50, began to disperse. To disperse forever, file a divorce with a division of property (if possible) and live apart. Among my friends and even relatives, I counted 6 such couples, of which 2 couples were formed immediately after school, and the rest from about student years. And not a single couple formed in adulthood, at the age of 30.

It seems to everyone from the outside that one of these couples has become unfaithful to the half or just fell in love. But the reality turned out to be much more prosaic.

Whoever I could, I asked about the reasons for the divorce. Yes, one incident happened precisely because the husband found another wife, younger. And the rest... 4 more cases of divorce occurred because one of the couple decided that it was better to live alone. And it would be more correct to say one. Because these divorces took place on the initiative of women.

I was a little surprised by this state of affairs. I have always thought that women are slaves by nature in most cases. Or, to put it mildly, they are called to serve faithfully to the family. And husband and children for the rest of their lives. But at the same time, they often forget about themselves, about their personal happiness. And now, either the fashion went to loneliness, or the women simply became strong enough and realized that it is easier for them to live without men. Rather, the second.

Tatiana (my friend since childhood) divorced her husband 3 years ago. And this is how she told me her story.

- A family cannot exist without scandals. But I often endured insults from my husband and even publicly. While I was busy with the household and small children, I "sat" at home, my husband earned money for the family. Therefore, of course, I could not afford too harsh attacks, I was dependent on the head of the family. But when the youngest went to kindergarten, I went to work, as if it became easier.

At work, I was doing well, I was promoted, my salary was raised. I began to receive the same amount as my husband. But he only worked at work. And I worked at the enterprise, then I came home and worked at home: I cooked, cleaned, washed and ironed, and only I took care of the children. There is no time left for yourself when you need to take a walk with your child, take them to developmental circles, pick up, educate. The husband only sometimes joined the process, all the time he disappeared at work.

When I told him that we earn the same, but only he stays late at work, he was offended and again expressed it to me. He always needed my attention, understanding, my participation in solving his even trivial problems. But I never managed to get through to him with the thought that I also needed it.

Years passed, the children graduated from school and went on to study. They began their adult life. But scandals and misunderstandings of each other continued because of everyday life. At some point, I got depressed. I decided to take an unused vacation and rest. I had no time for trips south or anywhere else. I just wanted to be in silence, peace, alone. I asked my husband to take care of the children during my vacation and left for the village myself. Friends were allowed to stay at their dacha for a week.

Life surrounded by nature in a sparsely populated village is very unloading emotionally. I wanted to return to the city, but not home. Then I rented an apartment on the other side of the city for the remaining month of my vacation.

When I returned home to my family a month later, my husband seemed like a stranger to me. Over time, I got used to it again, but I realized that love had long been gone. All recent years there was a habit, there was a sense of duty, there was a desire to love. But a single family based on mutual love and mutual respect has long been gone.

I made up my mind. Divorced. I still don’t regret it at all. Now I feel happy!

I go on vacation (although the salary is the same), returning home after work with pleasure. I don't walk around like that monkey from the cartoon endlessly wiping after all family members, I can afford not to bother cooking at home when I'm tired after a hard day, but to go to a cafe. I do not need to waste time doing laundry and ironing in such quantities.

I stopped taking medication, calmed down. I go to dances, learn my favorite tango. I communicate with interesting people and devote my life to myself. I have lived all my life for the happiness of loved ones. I believe that I now deserve a life for myself and my personal happiness.

PS: In many ways, I agree with Tanya. You can interview divorced women - most will tell you the same. But do not think that with this article I am agitating women to divorce. NO. Just men, do not forget that your wives are alive, loving and in great need of affection and care.

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