"After giving birth, the wife stopped developing" - the psychologist told which men are worried about this issue
Recently, the word "self-development" has become very fashionable, but many people put their own meaning into it - as in the case of men in whose family there was a replenishment.
After the birth of a child, representatives of the stronger sex often complain that "The wife has stopped developing." Is it really? What is really behind the lack of time, "stagnation" in the newly-made mother, and who is to blame for this?
The birth of a child is a global change in values for the mother. Unfortunately, very often - only for the mother. While the father continues to deal with current problems, and his routine duties have practically not changed.
He continues to go to work, looks at women who have not yet given birth or raised children from infancy, and asks: “Why isn't my wife like that? Why is it not developing like everyone else? "
In fact, in the life of a man, at best, a couple of items have been added to the list of things that need to be bought at a pharmacy or supermarket. Meanwhile, his wife is studying a lot of information on how to care for a child.
This is especially difficult during the first birth - then mothers' forums, and admonitions from grandmothers, and advice from more experienced friends who have already given birth become in demand.
A woman needs not only to find the information she needs, how to act correctly in a given situation, but also to double-check it, because any mistake can be very, very expensive.
But this problem for a man looks in a completely different light: yesterday his wife talked on the phone with a friend all day, today she sits on the Internet in the morning, and tomorrow she goes to visit her mother. That is, it does nothing and, moreover, does not develop yet.
But in the case when the husband is approached with an elementary request to change the diaper for his child, most often it turns out that he does not know how to do this.
But at the same time, he does not at all think that a couple of months ago his wife did not know how to do this in the same way, and only thanks to the fact that she is really developing in the right direction, she learned.
Asking a wife to hire a nanny is most often the husband's mockery or resentment. An ordinary salary, a lack of funds - men consider this to be the norm, that they cannot afford to hire an experienced assistant to their wife.
But at the same time, they sincerely wonder why a woman cannot afford those things that she loved to do before giving birth.
Yes, any woman with a small child herself also wants to develop, but how can she afford it? Send your husband on maternity leave instead of yourself?
But every man agrees that at least it looks stupid in our mentality. And who, then, is to look after the child?
Questions about the stopped self-development of a wife are most often asked by men who do not understand their responsibility for the child and do not take part in his upbringing. They just go to work, see well-groomed, fit female colleagues and think and start comparing them to their wife.
They do not realize that at a certain period of her life a woman can play completely different roles. And when she has a baby, her main role is to be a mother.
Therefore, such stupid and irresponsible men cannot even approximately imagine the amount of work that a woman puts into caring for a baby.