Does an adult need to communicate with his parents if he does not want to do this, and there is no understanding. I answer like a psychologist

Relationships with close relatives can be very difficult and conflicting. And then people face a difficult choice - to keep them or stop communicating?

To follow the pattern of ethical standards and pretend that nothing is happening or do as you want?

The situation is especially difficult when there is no understanding between adult children and their parents.

But I can say with complete confidence that in this case it is worthwhile to calmly weigh the pros and cons in order to come to a final decision. And in any case it will have to be done.

I will say right away - if relations with parents are constantly deteriorating and do not lose this tendency for a long time, they should be stopped.

Likewise, it is worth doing if there is no understanding in any issue important to both sides, and attempts to establish it fail. If there are unresolved grievances that cannot be forgiven, it is better not to communicate at all.

You ask - why such categoricalness?

Because there is no need to worsen what is already bad. And if you cannot get out of the impasse, then you should not continue to go further into the problem area.

Yes, your parents raised you, gave you a start in life, but it is worth understanding that you are already adults, and therefore are not obliged to behave like children in relation to their parents. And the latter, in turn, have no right to demand such behavior from you.

And if adults cannot reach a compromise, they are better off remaining neutral than continuing the hot stage of conflict. It is better not to spoil each other's nerves, not to get involved in quarrels - even if this requires avoiding each other.

As for the help that adult children can provide to their parents, or vice versa - no one bothers to do this without engaging in close communication. You can stay at a distance, but at the same time be no less useful to each other. Of course, if you want to do it.

I'll say even more - a temporary breakup often works wonders. When children and parents are left alone with their thoughts and do not communicate, they have time and the opportunity to rethink the causes of the conflict, to reconsider your attitude to inflicted and received insults.

And then comes the understanding that it is possible and necessary to reduce the degree of opposition, to come to terms with the position of the other side.

Why do you think in families where adult children live with their parents, there are so many more conflicts between them?

And in cases where a young family immediately sets off on an independent voyage and lives separately, there are much less quarrels with their parents?

Because children can act independently, and parents lose the opportunity to exert undue influence on them. Oddly enough, but restricting communication is beneficial to everyone.

Parents very often do not notice their selfishness and the fact that they are simply manipulating their offspring, even if they are already 30+.

And children suffer from imposed feelings of guilt and stereotypes that "parents must be respected." But this does not mean that you have to endure.

Therefore, it is worth making a logical conclusion - adult children are not required to communicate with their parents if they do not have understanding. Each party is entitled to their opinion.

And if there is no way to come to a compromise, then it is better not to conflict openly, but simply step aside so as not to hurt either yourself or your loved ones.