The husband is friends with the ex, and recently said that she would live with us
If I had read something like this, I would not have believed it. But the situation is real and it happens to my friend. Dasha. I changed the name for ethical reasons, that I decided to write about her situation, she knows and does not mind.
Dasha is a very calm, bright and good-natured person, incapable of meanness. She got married two years ago. Her husband is 7 years older than her and this is his second marriage. The first has a son, 4 years old.
Dasha is married for the first time, they have no children of their own yet, they decided not to rush.
Her husband immediately said that he regularly communicates with his son, helps him and remained on good terms with his ex-wife. Dasha does not mind and even puts such behavior on him as a plus - she did not abandon the child after a divorce, as many men do.
Not that she was very happy that her husband is friends with her ex, but she trusts him and understands him. He takes his son to their house once a week with an overnight stay. Dasha takes it well. The boy calls her Aunt Dasha and also perceives her normally.
Dasha is so kind and naive that she even decided to make friends with her husband's ex-wife herself when she came to pick up her son or they themselves went to her to pick him up or take him away.
Personally, from the very beginning, this all seemed not quite normal to me. And I saw that Dasha behaves this way not much because of her own desire to participate in her former family husband, and how much for his own sake, to be a good, just an ideal wife in his eyes, since he is very loves.
I really felt that all this sugary friendship between them all would not end well. But Dasha did not see anything suspicious in this, and I did not want to instill in her doubts. In the end, everyone has to step on their own rake.
The first alarm bell happened when one day Dasha's husband was very late after work, explaining that he had dropped by to see his son, as he was ill. When she asked why he had been there for so long, until late, he replied that her son was capricious and did not want to let him go.
By the way, the ex-wife and son live in a rented apartment, which Dasha's husband also helps pay for.
I remember when Dasha told me about this case, I already saw that she herself was nervous. I delicately hinted to her that this should not be so and that some kind of boundaries are needed.
The second alarm call - the husband went to take his son away (picked him up on the weekend), and again stayed there for a decent time. Understandably, again coming up with an excuse for this.
Then I could no longer stand it and told my friend that it was time for her to take off her rose-colored glasses, otherwise she would soon be left without a husband. After all, it’s clear that either his ex was screwing him up again or he himself “dived” there out of habit.
But what happened after that went beyond all boundaries.
When Dasha came to me in tears and told me this, for some reason I was not surprised. Although even I did not expect this.
The spouse said that his ex-wife was being evicted from the apartment, given only a few days to leave (the owners seemed to suddenly decide to sell the apartment). Since it is not yet possible to find decent housing, if they do not have time to do this, he will bring them to his place. More precisely, to him and Dasha. For a while, of course, until they find an apartment.
After all, the former has nowhere to go, her parents are in another city. She is alone with a small child, poor and unhappy.
- You won't mind, - asked Dasha her husband.
Honestly, both laughter and sin. I directly presented the oil painting, how they all live together.
I, of course, humanly felt sorry for Dasha, but she herself is to blame for bringing this to this, with her naivete and excessive trust.
Of course, she was against it. It seems that the rose-colored glasses finally fell off her and she began to suspect something was wrong.
I had a big fight with my husband.
Now they go to a family psychologist to sort out this situation and save the family by protecting their ex-wife from it.
To be honest, I would not have allowed such a situation initially and would quickly cut off such a friendship. Helping the child financially and communicating with him at a certain time, yes, this is normal.
But to visit the ex, make friends with her, help her financially, and also bring her to the house of her new wife... this is beyond the scope of my life views and with me this would definitely not go away. I think this is abnormal from all sides.
If Dasha were not so naive, she would have put everything in its place long ago. And her husband simply enjoyed her trust and kindness. If she had been so stupid, and would not have noticed how the former in their bed turned out to be the third.
I hope that everything will work out for them and the husband realizes his mistakes, and Dasha will not be such a simpleton in the future.